I'm the PROBLEM

I do not know why.

But LIFE is always cruel to me.

Never once can I feel the happiness I had in the past.

When I was just a kid.

Harder challenges awaits me.

As each second ticks by.

Ever since I started to know the things around me.

It's always a roller coaster ride.

Problems after one another.

Dreams came crushing down one after another.

Faith disappears day by day.

Like I said many posts ago.

I do not know which is the truth.

And which is not.

It's not that I do not try giving myself a chance to feel this happiness again.

By as I grows older.

The hurt I get increases.

More stab wounds on my heart.

More salt rubbed on my wounds.

More tears wasted.

And with these,

I lost my soul.

I lost myself.

I lost me.

I lost I.

I became scared.

Too scared to face any truth.

Too scared to accept the truth.

Too scared to get hurt anymore.

I want to be myself.

But I do not know where to start from.

Whom, who can guide me.

I hate to be NOT ME.

It's tiring.

It's exhausting.

And it's tormenting me.

And I know,

I should and can NEVER rely on anyone.

'Cause the problem lies with me.

I'm the PROBLEM.

And no one can understands me better than myself.

No one can read my thoughts.

No one can see through me.

No one can make me into ME.

NO ONE CAN HELP ME!

NO ONE CAN END THIS FOR ME!

I'm fighting for myself.

I'm fighting with myself.

And I can't let this affect my academics.